Where it all begins...

This post contains: background information on my pregnancy.

So, let's start at the beginning - because, frankly, anything else is just daft.

My husband and I have been married less than a year, and we have been discussing starting a family for a couple of years. I have always known that I want to be a mother, but my husband wasn't quite so sure about being a father. Although when we met, he made out that he wanted children some day, a few months into our relationship he admitted that he wasn't sure because he had never given it too much thought. By the time we started trying though, he was genuinely excited about fatherhood and had many child related Pininterest boards to prove it!

So after our wedding, we took a couple of months to boost our savings back to a reasonable level and enjoy being married before starting to try for a baby. I had been eager to start trying long before this but had been patient to allow my hubby to be fully on board and ready before the baby making commenced, as the last thing I wanted was to put a strain on our relationship by rushing him. Although he would have gone along with it, I wanted him to really want this, so waited until he was ready. Finally, we started trying, but because I had been ready for so long, I was eager to get pregnant as quick as possible. Even before I stopped contraception, I started using fertility tips and vitamins, eating healthier and using an ovulation app to track symptoms. My cupboard was well stocked with both ovulation and pregnancy tests! But I had also read about having acupuncture for fertility. I was unsure about this, but a bit of research proved to me that it was well-documented to be a tried and tested treatment with good results. So I booked an appointment at a local clinic and started having needles stuck in my body...

My husband thought I was mad to have acupuncture for any reason, let alone fertility when we had only just started trying, but was also supportive and I think he even admired my commitment to starting a family. I'm a naturally lazy, unmotivated individual who hates healthy eating, exercise and discomfort, so for me to be on a healthy diet, working out regularly AND now having acupuncture showed him that I was serious about becoming a mother. I did feel a little silly having a fertility treatment when I had no reason to believe that either my hubby or I had any issues in that department. However, my acupuncturist made me feel at ease about it, treating me for any other ailments at the same time, and explaining to me how everything worked.

The first month of trying was a bit difficult as my cycle was messed up from the contraception and I didn't know where I was coming or going. My period eventually arrived 11 days late and extremely heavy. By then, I was glad to get it, as I knew I wasn't pregnant (I took multiple tests to make sure when my period still hadn't arrived) and I was ready to start afresh the following month. I kept a track of my ovulation and was even confident that I actually felt it, confirming that ovulation had taken place with daily tests. A couple of days later, I had acupuncture and was informed that that session, because of where I was on my cycle, was focused on encouraging ovulation and supporting the womb's preparation for implantation. After the session, I felt the same strange tugging sensation around my uterus (on the opposite side this time) that I had associated with ovulation two days earlier and joked with my acupuncturist that if I ended up with fraternal twins, I was blaming her for causing me to ovulate a second time.

To cut what is becoming a long story a little shorter, four days before my period was due, I had a day off work and had by this time became convinced that I had succeeded in conceiving. Part of me thought that it was just wishful thinking, as one of my best friends had confided in me that she was pregnant just a couple of weeks before this, and I knew it would be great to have our children so close together, but I had a strong feeling about it. Even though I fully intended to wait until a few days after my period was due to take a test, I couldn't resist. I expected it to be negative, although I was sure I was pregnant, as it was still quite soon. But the result was clear. Positive! When I told my husband that evening, he took a while to process it, being shocked that it had happened so fast!

The next few weeks were full of morning sickness and fatigue. Although I wanted to keep it a secret for the time being, my sickness and the excitement of both myself and the hubby (who had very much come around to the idea eventually...) meant that by 8 weeks, we had let slip to my bosses, three of my work colleagues, another two old workmates of mine, three of the hubby's workmates and two of our neighbours. We managed to keep it from our parents though, knowing both our mothers would be too excited not to blab! I had a feeling early on that it could be twins, and by this time, I had become more convinced by my symptoms - morning sickness starting earlier on that most pregnancies, already starting to show a little curving of the tummy and mega tiredness.

Then at 9 weeks, I woke up with terrible cramps. At first, I put it down to my IBS not liking the fact that I had eaten a lot of junk food the day before despite having barely eaten a full meal for 5 weeks thanks to morning sickness (that lasts all day, of course). But when I went the toilet, I was horrified to see bloody discharge on the toilet tissue. I immediately went online and looked at symptoms of miscarriage. A couple of hours and a lot of tears later, my husband encouraged me to phone the midwifery department and ask for their advice. The lady I spoke to was lovely, but her reaction to my symptoms was not very encouraging and after a long chat, we decided I should go into the hospital to be checked out by a gynecologist. I couldn't stop the silent tears that were running down my face the entire journey there, and my husband was clearly at a loss as to what to say and dealing with his own disappointment. I just kept thinking about how I had a feeling it was twins and hoping that I either wasn't miscarrying at all, or had only lost one and still had a chance of continuing a healthy pregnancy with the remaining child. But those hopes seemed far-fetched now, and by the time I was sat in the reclining chair about to the gynecologist give me an ultrasound, I was fully expecting the worst.

I watched the screen intently as she ran the scanner over my abdomen, so I had already spotted the two dark blobs that I suspected were amniotic sacs before she asked if there were any twins in my family. I looked up at my husband who stood next to me holding my hand and said with a sad smile "I told you it was twins". Then I went back to staring at the screen, willing there to be a heartbeat in at least one of the sacs but just seeing black. Then the doctor pointed out movement in one of the sacs! I was so relieved. Losing one of the babies was horrible, but I know that it is just the way things go sometimes and at least we still had a chance of having one baby. Then the gynecologist pointed out movement in the second sac. A few seconds later she confirmed it, two healthy looking heartbeats. A little probing followed the scan which I didn't give a damn about because I was still on cloud nine from finding out I was pregnant still AND with twins. My cervix was still closed, no sign of further bleeding and everything looked fine.

What a rollercoaster of a day. It really gave me a taste for how devastating it must be to have a miscarriage and my heart goes out to anyone who has been through such an ordeal without the happy outcome. It was an extremely emotional day for my poor husband especially. He had taken longer than me to come around to the fact that we had got pregnant so fast, finally he was getting so excited that he was letting slip to people that I was pregnant and reading baby-related books, then he had to hold my hand and support me while himself dealing with the agony of thinking that we had miscarried, only to learn that not only was I still pregnant, but we were having twins!

However, within a few days the hubby had come around again to the idea and after a few chats about the pros and cons of having twins, he ended up more excited than ever, probably moreso than me actually. At 10 weeks we had a "twin viability" scan and an appointment with the consultant obstetrician who would be taking care of us from then on it. He confirmed what I already suspected, that they are most likely fraternal and went through what a twin pregnancy meant in terms of procedures and additional care. After that scan and a booking in appointment with the midwife, the husband and I were finally ready to tell our parents who were all excited but not too surprised to learn we were pregnant having known that it was on the cards. But they were surprised (and thrilled) to find out that we were having twins!

Although we started telling our family and close friends after our parents knew, we made a public announcement at 12 weeks after another scan. And that brings us up to present day, just gone 16 weeks and having had yet another scan. Results from all our tests and scans so far are positive, my morning sickness disappeared entirely for three weeks, although it did reappear three days ago but far milder and only resulting in me being sick once (today) and sticking to the actual morning and not all day this time. I'm not as tired as I was in the first trimester either, so need to start doing some exercise and healthy eating again, as both went out the window during the turmoil of morning sickness and fatigue of previous weeks.

My bump is lovely at the moment, nice and neat with the rest of my body staying trim so far (losing 7lbs during the morning sickness stage because I couldn't eat helped...) and I'm just starting to need maternity clothes - although I'm currently a little too big for my regular clothes and a little too small for maternity clothes...

And that's my story. So, you are now up to date and ready to read my rants, reviews and whatever else I feel like in my future posts...